Why I stopped wearing Lolita
Hello everyone !
While arranging my closet, I thought about something.
I started to wear « Alternative » fashion when I was 13. It’s the teens, we are searching who we are, we discover new things, new music, new fashions, we try to build our personnality and appearance.
It’s true since a long while, and even more today, as people are showing themselves on social media, which was not existing in the 90s. But we were still searching for ourselves.
A lot of young people (and less young ones too) go through this. Now we are usually laughing when we see pictures of our youth and what we used to like, because taste change with age.
Lolita Fashion has been part of me for almost 10 years, and since a few months I noticed that a lot of people were surprised when I decided to « quit Lolita ».
Actually, when I started to wear Lolita when I was 18-19 (of course with a chaotic start, like many of us, particularly back then when Japanese brands were very difficult for us to buy, and therefore we bought low quality knockoffs), I already knew that I will not wear Lolita for the rest of my life. Fashion taste changes.
I was just growing out of my « Goth phase ». I don’t really like the word « phase », but to make things easier we will use this word, for a « Span of time that can last from a few months to several years in which we are fond of a particular alternative fashion ».
Remember when we were 13 and saying « I’ll be a Goth/Lolita/Punk/Emo/*insert any style here* for the rest of my life ! », and then you finally loose your taste for it because your state of mind and taste changed a few months / years later.
What I learned with the end of my Goth phase, is that depending of your state of mind, your taste will change. It is true for clothes, but is even more true when it comes to music.
In English we say « to grow out of something », but in french « se lasser » is just loosing taste for something.
I prefer the english expression, because it sounds less negative than the french, because it makes me think of « growing », in short gaining maturity and learn something from your phase.
It’s the things we go through that make use the people we are today and we will be in the future.
I often talk about this subject with friends, particularly when we talk about music, but it can be applied to clothes, it’s exactly the same.
There are bands or music styles that can be considered as « our classics ». It can be a band you discovered through your parents, or a band you always liked despite the phases you have been through.
For example (for me), I always liked Elvis Presley, and still liked him during my Goth phase, even if I was mostly listening to Goth and Metal music. But the « classic » is always there, even if we tend to « hide » it during the phase.
Like I said above, you will always learn something from a phase. It’s the things we go through that make use the people we are today and we will be in the future.
To stay with the example of music, during my Goth phase I discovered The Cure, which is now one of my « classics » and I never get tired of them. It’s like my slick of eyeliner I wear every day since middle school, I discovered this thanks to Gothic style make up. I won’t be the same person today without it, it’s the base of all of my make ups. My classic. Eyeliner is to my make up what Elvis Presley is to my collection of records.
There are several reasons why we can develop an interest in an alternative fashion. We can discover it randomly and be interested, because it matches our current state of mind, or there can be the influence of the popularity of said fashion.
For example, Visual Kei music was very popular between 2005 and 2009-2010, followed by Japanese street fashions such as Lolita, which also became popular in France at this moment.
Honestly I don’t think that I would have started to wear Lolita without this popularity back then. I knew this style only through Malice Mizer’s costumes. Thank you Mana.（＾ｖ＾）
We can notice the same since a few years with Korean music and fashion. Well these don’t attract me personnally, I just like Korean cosmetics. (=^▽^=)
Usually we don’t really like to say that we have discovered a fashion because it was popular, because we will feel like a « stupid sheep », but we have to admit that popularity is very strong, sometimes it pushes us into getting more interested in something we saw and liked, and also popularity makes the fashion more accessible to our eyes.
Since as long as I can remember, I have always been attracted to everything vintage/antique. Fashion, interiors, history… and I have always liked movies taking place in the past. I think that I have been attracted to Gothic fashion due to their esthetics taken from fashions of the past, particularly the Victorian era which I particularly love. It’s also the reason why I like Lolita. Plus I’m from the « Club Dorothée generation », which means that I grew up with anime and this developed my interest for Japanese pop culture.
By the way, for my jewelry and accessories creations, my biggest inspiration are fashions of the past, to which I add a modern touch, with the influence of Japanese street fashions, and also alternative fashions such as Goth or Steampunk.
I felt like the person I was looking at in the mirror wasn’t me anymore
With time, even if I still like Lolita fashion, the « flame » wasn’t there anymore. I still like the fashion, but I don’t feel like wearing it anymore. You will ask why ? Simply because I would like to give another image of myself. When I tried one of my favorite dresses from back then (which is now owned by one of my best friends), I felt like the person I was looking at in the mirror wasn’t me anymore, it wasn’t the person I wanted the others to see. So it was the sign that it was time to move on and wear something else, because I wanted to express something different.
I still keep a few of my Lolita dresses which I really like, and I will write a post soon about how I wear them now, in a « non-Lolita way », or « pinupized » (let’s create words (~˘▾˘)~ ).
I met a lot of wonderful people in Lolita, with who I will always be friends. Some of them even left the fashion a long while ago, but we never lost contact, because after all, it’s only clothing, friendship is more than that. (♥ω♥ ) ~♪
And well I still like Lolita, on others.
If I chose to wear « pin up » style now, it’s of course due to my passion for fashions of the past, but also because it allows me to express the type of feminity I want to express today, as the strict rules of Lolita no longer correspond to what I’m looking for. And well, I’m almost 30… too… (๑>ᴗ<๑)
That said, I’m going to iron my pink floral dress. See you later ! (^ _ ^)/
+ Photo : Julien Chantôme
Estelle, Bonbon Maléfque,